wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My balls are so social today.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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