we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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