Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
