I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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