Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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