Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
