haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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