I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
