Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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