a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize