Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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