the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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