Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
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I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
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After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
that may or may not have been my penis.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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