So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
