So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
