All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
