Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
