Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
