My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
