that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
