Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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