we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
