have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
