...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
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Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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