Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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