Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
organizing the empties. That sober.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
