Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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