I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
