I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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