Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
