I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
