This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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