remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
