Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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