Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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