Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
