true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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