Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
