I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Actions speak louder than pants.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
