There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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