trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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