Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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