i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize