If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
