It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
