Non-Jews are for practice
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
