omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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