Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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