This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
