no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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