I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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