You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
