You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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