Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
