i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
