Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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