I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
