I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
