lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
