we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so let's talk penis.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
