Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
