so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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