i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
