Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.