This girl is more easily done than said...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.