Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
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I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
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Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.