If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
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Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
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Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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