I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?