margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?