You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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