he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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