that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
